life

My life recently has consisted of constant stress and constant worrying. I hate both of these things but sometimes it comes with being a college student. I am a person who gets very stressed out about the smallest of things so you imagine how stressed I get about a test or paper that is due. Last week was a week that I wish to never have happen again. I had my first two test of the semester so of course I was freaking out about them. I started to prepare myself for these test over the weekend because I wanted to feel as prepares as I could. As Monday approached I started to feel sick and didn't really feel like doing much of anything. I thought to myself this is the last thing I need when I already have to worry about my test. However, I did not let me being sick get me down for the most part. I knew what I had to do in order to do well on my test and well that was to study the best that I could. So that is what I did and as the test approached I started to pray about them just asking God to help out and help me to retain the information that I had been studying. As my first test approached I felt calm and good about taking the test. I went to class the day of the test I took it and felt like I had done a good job on the test. Unfortunately I do not know what I got on that test. My second test approached I took it and felt ok about it but it turns out that I did good on it. I thought after my test were over my stress would go away and I would feel much better. This was not the case I felt like I was getting more sick and at this point I was feeling kind of home sick weird I know but I haven't been home in almost a month and a half and that is kind of a while for me. I had high hopes though for the weekend because I was going to look at houses and then going to Purdue to see friends. The weekend came and looking at houses went great! However when I went to Purdue it was not so great. I did not get to sit with my friends at the game and just some other things went wrong. I tried not to let any of this stuff get to me. I tried not to think why is God letting this stuff happen to me. My mind never went there thankfully but I am still struggling with some certain things that are going on in my life right now. I would to tell you that my life sucks right now but I cannot because a great friend told me this "life is something that even in its hardest moments is something to be enjoyed and praised...it's too short to say that it sucks. These words have really helped me get through the things that I have been dealing. While there is a lot going on and I may feel stressed. I know that life is always a gift and that at any moment that gift can be taken away so why sit around an mob about things that you can't control. The lesson that I have learned is sometimes life tries to knock you off your feet but as long as you are firmly rooted in something everything will work out and be great just something take time.

A weekend in New York

This past weekend my family along with my aunt and uncle and two cousins and I went to New York. This came as a surprise to me because I was just planning on spending the long weekend at home with my family and seeing friends. Half way through last week though that all changed when my dad called to tell me that there was a possibility that we were going to go to New York for the weekend because there was a chance that he my uncle were going to get tickets for the U.S. Open go figure I get a trip to New York because of a tennis match. At this point I wanted to go and was very excited to go. I had been to New York once before that and I really wanted to go back. I then found out that I was actually going as I began to think about it I didn't think I really wanted to go because it would be such a fast trip and I just wanted to relax for the weekend. As it got closer to the time to leave I got more stressed out and really didn't want to go. I got into that car that day to leave still not really wanting to go but as we drove along I thought that it would be okay. It turned out that New York was a great trip for the weekend. While I am very tired I don't regret going. New York is such a cool place to go most people don't like it because there are so many people. It is a fast moving place and I love it. However New York was very much a fashion check. New York is such a fashion forward place and I love it. I love to go to New York and see what the latest fashion is. New York is also a fast moving place people are always on the go and I love that about New York. Now I don't know if I would ever want to actually live in New York city but it would be nice to live close enough to take a train into the city whenever I wanted to visit it. I also realized this weekend that I am very much a city girl and that when I get out of school I want to live in some kind of city and not the country.

Back to School

I have now been back at Ball State for a week and it definitely a change from being at home. I love being back don't get me wrong. However I do not like the start of classes. The first week was not that bad but I need to keep thinking that I can't stress myself out about the little things like I did last year. This year started out completely different as I had to say goodbye to a friend not forever but until I see her again someday in heaven. It was a very difficult week but it made me realize that we don't have forever to live. Some of us have longer than others but some of us could only have a few more days, weeks, or years left in us. My friend was always happy and always smiling I think that is what I learned from her that no matter what is going on to always be happy and have a smiling face. So as I packed up my things and headed off for school I thought about the coming year and what it held. At this point I don't know what it will hold I'm sure it will hold sadness, heartbreak, good and bad time, testing times, stressful times. I know that no matter what this year brings that I will take it on smiling and being happy because that is how we are suppose to live. So stop feeling down if you are and look at all the wonderful things that you get experience and all the things in your life that have yet to come.

Vacation

This past week I went to Myrtle Beach with my parents and one of my friends. It was such an amazing time. It was a great week where I just got to relax and spent some time with my parents before I go back to school. I also faced my fear and went pretty far into the ocean. I love the beach and everything that goes with it but when it comes to the ocean it scares me a little because well there are animals such as sharks in there and that just freaks me out, but I got over that fear and went out into the ocean. This vacation gave me some time to just think things over. It was great to just be able to lay there or to walk along the beach and just think things through. There has been a lot going on in my life lately but on vacation I realized that things will work out for the best and that people come into your life for a purpose. A lot of the time I just think that people are there because you have things in common or you just get along with them but on this vacation I realized that people are placed in your life for a purpose. Everyone you meet in some way changed your life whether it was in a small tiny way that you don't even notice or if it is in a big way. Some people come into your life and stay only for a short time and then leave and then there are those people who stay in your life for a very long time and never leave but the people who interest me the most are the ones who come and go in your life. I know that sounds weird because wouldn't you want the people who never leave. I have realized though that the people that come and go are the ones who have touched my life the most because they are the ones who really have taught me things in my life. They have taught me how to say goodbye but know that it is not goodbye forever. They have taught me how to trust myself and to not rely on others all the time. There is something unique about the people who come and go in my life and that is that they keep coming back. Something draws them back to you which is what I find most interesting. They keep coming back they just can't seem to forget you and that fact makes me feel very special like I am doing something right or in that instant is when I need them most and some how they are there for me that is what I find so interesting about people who come and go in my life. I have had to say goodbye to a lot of friends lately whether it be because they were going back to school or they were moving to a different state the thing that has kept me strong when saying goodbye is knowing that they will come back right when I need them they will still be there.

A weekend at the lake

A weekend at the lake is always a great time. This past weekend I got the chance to go up and see some of my friends from school and it was a great time. My friend and I left early Friday morning to drive three hours. The drive up there was not bad at all it was very relaxing which is very surprising because most of the time I don't really like driving. I was so excited when I got there I felt like I hadn't seen my friends in such a long time. We got there and put our stuff down and headed straight to the lake. I love to be out on any kind of boat. It is just so relaxing and it just frees your mind. I had gone into this weekend a little confused about some things and just a little tired from the week. So once I was on the lake it was great to just have this feeling of relief that I didn't have to worry about anything that the things back at home didn't matter anymore. As the weekend went on I just got to spend some time with my friends catching up and just talking about memories that we had. We got to go swimming and tubing which I am a little sore from. I also got to do a lot of thinking. I had time to just sit on the boat and look around and see all the beautiful things around me. As I said I went into the weekend very confused but as I sat there and just had time to think things became a lot clearer to me. I realized that the things I was confused about were not important that there was no reason for me to be upset about the things I was upset about or to even worry about the things that I was worried about. I realized that in time things will work out that there is nothing I can do right now to make things work out. I cannot make something happen but I have to trust God and let him be the one who makes things right between people. While I am sore from tubing this weekend was so great and I am so glad that I got to see my friends and just relax for a little while.

Chicago

Today I took a trip with my parents and a friend to Chicago. This trip was kind of out of the blue but I had a day off work and I needed to get out of Indiana. So we took a trip to Chicago. I picked Chicago because I hadn't been there in a really long time and because I love cities so much. Even just going downtown is great. I don't know what it is about cities but I love them. There is always so much going on and there is so much to look at.While we got closer to Chicago I began to get really excited.This is just what I need is what I was thinking when we pulled into the city. As day went on I began to realize how much I liked Chicago. I hadn't been there since I was little so I don't remember a whole lot about it. As day went on I thought to myself I could see myself maybe living here when I get out of college. Like I have said before I have realized that I am probably going to have to live in a big city with the career that I have chosen. My first choice would definitely still have to be L.A. because I love California.However if that doesn't work out then I could settle for Chicago I mean they do have a beach it's just not the ocean.The trip to Chicago was great. I felt very at peace with life on the way back home and it was just a good time to spend time with friends and family.

Friends

Friends are a gift from God. Friends are people who get you through the day when you think you aren’t going to make it. Over the past few years I have begun to realize that it isn’t about how many friends you have or how good looking your friends are. It is about how close you are to your friends. I have been lucky enough to have some pretty great friends over the years. Some were just in my life for a little while. While others have stuck around. The ones that have stuck around are the ones that mean the most to me. Not to say that my other friends who have gone a different way don’t mean anything to me. However the friends who have stayed by my side are the ones who have impacted my life the most. They have made me the person that I am today. Without them I really don’t know who I would be. I have realized though lately who are my true friends. There are some people in my life who say they are my friends however the way they sometime act make me question if we are really friends like they say. Now I know that friends are going to disappoint you and they aren’t always going to be there for you. However some of my friends lately have really surprised me with what they say to me and to my other friends. This has made me appreciate my true friends more. I love my friends who will just sit there and listen to me vent most of the time about boys or just what has gone on during the day. I have a friend who I have been friends with since middle school. Never would I have thought when I met her that we would still be friends. Not to say I got a bad impression when I met her. I just knew that it was hard to keep friends especially when you hit high school. However we made it through high school and I am so thankful to have her in my life. We are always there for each other and we always vent to each other. Most people who meet us I think would be surprised that we are so close because to be honest we are complete opposites. We have some things in common but for the most part we are two different people. I am so blessed to have her in my life. Friends are always supposed to be there for you. Over the past few weeks I have lost some friends however I know that is for the best and that the friends that are with me now will be with me for a very long time. Friends are what get me through the day. I would not be the person I am today without my friends.