Goodbye past

This past week has been a great week for me to just reflect on my life. I have realized so much. I realized that I let the past rule my life in a lot of areas. I let what happened in the past haunt me and scare me.

After realizing this I decided to be done with the past. There is just too much that is going on right now that is so great and I am missing it because I am stuck in the past. I let past relationships get the best of me. I am scared to get into a relationship because of how all of my other relationships have turned out. I know that this is not the way to live. I have held grudges for too long. I have stayed mad at people for stupid reasons. I have judged people and therefore I never give them a chance. This is a big issue for me.

I have realized that I can't judge people. I am not better than they are so what gives me the right to judge them. I have also realized that I have judged and gossiped about people in order to make myself feel better. I hate to admit it but in the end that is what it all comes down to. I need to stop acting like that. I need to stop doing things just to make myself feel better. Because in the end I end up hurting people or hurting myself.

I also care way too much sometimes. Which you would think would be a good thing but it's not. I care way too much what other people think of me. Which I hate and is something that I am working on. I also sometimes care way too much for people in my life. I care so much some people and they could care less about me. It's hard for me to not care about the people in that are in my life. The problem that I run into is that the people that don't care about me end up hurting me the most. Now I am not saying that I am going to stop caring but there are just going to have to be times where I have to accept that people aren't going to change and that they are not going to care.

The final thing in my life that I am trying so hard accept is that people aren't always going to leave. In the past people always seem to come into life and then leave. I feel like people that I really care about are just going to get up and walk away and it scares me because those are the people that I want in my life the most. Lately I have been reminded that not everyone is going to leave and the ones that really care about me are going to stay. They are going to check on my when things in my life aren't going great. They are the ones that will always be there and want to hang out with me when they have nothing else to do.

It's time to forget the past and the things that I don't want to be. Now I am not saying that I am going to be a totally different person but it is time for a change. It is time to look towards the future and stop living in the past.