Realizations

Do you ever just sit around and think about things? Does something in your life ever make you just stop and make you look at your life? Have you ever realized that you have not been who you wanted to be after something big happens? I have been thinking a lot lately about my life and where it is going and who I am becoming. It is hard to believe that this semester is almost over. It has definitely been one of the hardest semesters I have ever been through. I know after all is said is done it will benefit me in some way. School has been really hard which has lead to me being very stressed. Now I know that being stressed is never a good thing but I think in my case sometimes it has helped me. Anyways being stressed is not what I want to talk about. However the stress in my live has made me stop and rethink my life. My mind lately has been full of different things.

I am almost finished with my first semester of my sophomore year. It's exciting and scary to think about this because well I am scared to grow up. I only have two and a half years left of college and to me that is crazy. It scares the crap out of me because I will soon have to go out into the real world and get a real job and try and make something of myself. This is a scary fact. I am excited to be done with school don't get me wrong but I don't know if I am ready for the responsibilities that come with it.

This is where my mind has been lately. I have been examining my life and looking to see where I need to improve in my life. Lately I have realized how stupid I have been and how much more growing up I have to do. I have been a very selfish person lately. I have only cared about myself. I have put other second and have cared more about my grades and my classes and what I can do to help myself. I know that this is very stupid of me but while I was doing it I had no idea. Now looking back on I regret it. Now I am not saying that I don't care about my grades because I do. I just realize that some of the choices that I have made lately have not been the greatest and I need to change and figure out a way to realize what I am doing so I can stop myself from doing those things. Lately my mind has been filled with hundreds of different things but it mostly has to deal with where is my life going and am I being the person that I truly want to be.