Guess it's Time...

I have put off this blog because well I knew it would be one of the hardest blogs I would have to write but it's finally time to come to terms with it. Almost a year ago my friend Shelly passed away. It was very sudden and no one knew it was coming. When I first heard about it I just kind of sat there and tried to continue what I was doing but that is all I could think about and I just lost it. I didn't know what to do so I just sat there crying. I tried my hardest to get my mind off of things I knew that I would have to tell my friend Molly which I knew wasn't going to be easy. The other bad thing was that weekend I was supposed to move back to school. My friend Morgan was over at the time and she tried her hardest as did my family to try and calm me down but honestly nothing was going to calm me down at this point. I remember trying to pack the next couple of days and I just couldn't because I would just sit there and cry. I went to school and ended up having to come home the next week for the showing. I knew that this was going to be hard. How do you say goodbye to a close friend. I was 20 at the time and the last thing I was thinking about was that I was going to have to say goodbye to another friend in my life. I went to viewing with my mom, sister, and my friend Abby. Abby knew that this was going to be hard for me so she was right there by my side through all of it. I remember walking in and there was just this huge line of people waiting to say their goodbyes. I was doing pretty well at first and then all the sudden I saw my friend Molly and just lost it. I cried everyday for weeks after. I still cry sometimes.

This post isn't to tell you about how I felt but to tell you about Shelly. Shelly was one of the greatest people I knew. She always and I mean always had a smile on her face no matter what was happening in her life. Whenever I talked to her she always made me feel better. Her favorite thing was fireworks and things that were light up. She would always just get this huge smile on her face whenever there was fireworks or anything that would light up. We spend a lot of time together before she went to college out of state. We would always lay out at her pool and just talk about boys and what was going on in our lives. She was someone that you could just tell really cared about you. She always put others first. Shelly was deeply rooted in her faith and it definitely showed whenever you talked to her. I miss the days of dancing to random songs and just have heart to hearts with her I know that she is in a better place. Everyday there is always something that reminds me of her that's how I know that she is up in heaven looking down on me. Still watching over me and caring for me. My hope is that I can be like Shelly one day. I hope to just always smile and to just put others before myself because that's the way it should be. Life is short we never know when our time is coming. So, wouldn't you rather just smile and forget about your worries than to be angry and worried about every little thing?

Happy Birthday Molly!

Today is one of my very best friend's birthday. Well that is if I can get all of this typed and posted by midnight. Mine and Molly's friendship is special. Most people would never think that we are as close as we are because well we are opposites but Molly has been through a lot with me. Whether it was boys or falling on the ground at CIY crying Molly was always there. Not to say that our friendship has not has it's ups and downs but we got through all of them. Molly is such a caring person who will do anything for the people that she loves. She has always been there for me even when I have done stupid things. She has always been someone who I can completely trust and rely on. I don 't really think that there is anything about me that Molly doesn't know. She has a huge heart and I love and admire that about her. She is just such a great person. When our friend Shelly passed away we got through it together. She can always tell when something is wrong with me. She has been there for me through boyfriends and break ups. She even brought me a milkshake when I was sick and my boyfriend at the time would not bring me one. That's the kind of person Molly is. She would drop everything for the people that she loves. I know that a lot of this sounds like what most people would say about their friends especially on their birthday to make them feel special but this is no lie. Molly is a very caring person. Heck she always lets me sleep in her nice comfy bed when I spend the night. We have been on many CIYs together and have cried a lot together. She will sit with me on the floor at CIY when I am balling my eyes out. She will let me cry into her pillow and get mascara all over her pillow and doesn't care that it won't come out because that's a memory that me and her share. We have had so many great memories to singing and dancing in your room to balling our eyes out as we went on our last CIY together. Molly you have been there for me through so much. I love you! I really hope that you have a WONDERFUL birthday because you deserve it!