Guess it's Time...

I have put off this blog because well I knew it would be one of the hardest blogs I would have to write but it's finally time to come to terms with it. Almost a year ago my friend Shelly passed away. It was very sudden and no one knew it was coming. When I first heard about it I just kind of sat there and tried to continue what I was doing but that is all I could think about and I just lost it. I didn't know what to do so I just sat there crying. I tried my hardest to get my mind off of things I knew that I would have to tell my friend Molly which I knew wasn't going to be easy. The other bad thing was that weekend I was supposed to move back to school. My friend Morgan was over at the time and she tried her hardest as did my family to try and calm me down but honestly nothing was going to calm me down at this point. I remember trying to pack the next couple of days and I just couldn't because I would just sit there and cry. I went to school and ended up having to come home the next week for the showing. I knew that this was going to be hard. How do you say goodbye to a close friend. I was 20 at the time and the last thing I was thinking about was that I was going to have to say goodbye to another friend in my life. I went to viewing with my mom, sister, and my friend Abby. Abby knew that this was going to be hard for me so she was right there by my side through all of it. I remember walking in and there was just this huge line of people waiting to say their goodbyes. I was doing pretty well at first and then all the sudden I saw my friend Molly and just lost it. I cried everyday for weeks after. I still cry sometimes.

This post isn't to tell you about how I felt but to tell you about Shelly. Shelly was one of the greatest people I knew. She always and I mean always had a smile on her face no matter what was happening in her life. Whenever I talked to her she always made me feel better. Her favorite thing was fireworks and things that were light up. She would always just get this huge smile on her face whenever there was fireworks or anything that would light up. We spend a lot of time together before she went to college out of state. We would always lay out at her pool and just talk about boys and what was going on in our lives. She was someone that you could just tell really cared about you. She always put others first. Shelly was deeply rooted in her faith and it definitely showed whenever you talked to her. I miss the days of dancing to random songs and just have heart to hearts with her I know that she is in a better place. Everyday there is always something that reminds me of her that's how I know that she is up in heaven looking down on me. Still watching over me and caring for me. My hope is that I can be like Shelly one day. I hope to just always smile and to just put others before myself because that's the way it should be. Life is short we never know when our time is coming. So, wouldn't you rather just smile and forget about your worries than to be angry and worried about every little thing?