Do What Makes You Happy

Ever wonder why certain things or people are in your life.  Why certain things happen or why things turn out the way they do. I am always questioning these types of things. Especially when things don't go my way at all or when someone who hurts me comes into my life. I have been very stressed out this semester between balancing school, sorority stuff, and school. Things have not been the easiest for me this year. Adjusting to a new schedule and new roommates. With all this happening it has made me realize what is truly important in my life.

I have realized that I am truly blessed with some pretty great people in my life. I have had to deal with a lot this year and no matter what my friends have always been there for me no matter what it was.  I think that is why God puts people in our lives. So that when you are having a hard time you have your friends that you can always fall back on. If I did not have my friends especially two of my sisters I would not have made it through a lot of the hard times that I have been having. 

I have also realized that people come into our lives to teach us something. Some people hurt us. Some people judge us. Others accept us for who we are. For those who hurt us we learn from our mistakes we learn what we don't want in our lives. We find out who are true friends are.  People are going to come into your life and they are going to hurt you but what I have realized is that they were put into you life for a purpose to teach you something. Whether that be about yourself or just something that you don't want in your life. 

Things are also going to happen in your life that you don't want to happen. Things aren't always going to go your way but these situations they are there for a reason they help you to become a stronger person. If you let these things get you down then you are never going to be happy. Things aren't always going to go your way. The things that you want most you are going to go after and get. Things aren't just going to fall into your lap. You have to work at things sometime. Most of all you have to do what makes you happy if not then you are never going to be happy.

Sisters are Forever

Ever wonder why God gave you sisters? Especially when they are getting on your last nerve and you just want to disown them. This past week my week was definitely rough whether it was school or friends it was just a hard week to get through. The only reason that I made it was because of my sisters both blood and sorority sisters. 

I realized that God gives us sisters so that in our times we always have someone there to support us.  My blood sisters have always been there for me. Especially this summer so when I came back to school I struggled at first because I did not know what to do without my sisters. Then I started to realize that I have  now 97 sisters that are always going to be there for me at school. It is hard to describe to some people about the time of bond that you share with your sorority sisters but it is definitely special. They are going to have your back no matter what. They know every little thing about you. They know when you are having a bad day and will do everything in their power to make you feel better. Honestly they do a pretty amazing job most of the time. 

As of today I can honestly say I don't know where I would be in life without my blood or sorority sisters. They are the ones that are going to always be there for me. They are going to be there when I get married. They are going to be the first people I go to about everything in life. My sisters are my everything and I would not be as far as I am in life without them.

Junior year

I can't believe that I am already starting my junior year. It seems like just yesterday I was starting my freshmen year of college. I can still remember how I felt when I was moving in. I was so scared and really didn't know what to think. I remember walking to my classes the first day and being so nervous about whether or not I was going to make friends or not. Looking back on it now I have come a long way from that first day of freshmen year. A lot of good and bad things have happened in my life. I have discovered so much about who I am, who my true friends are, and where I want my life to go.

Anyways back to starting junior year. It still blows my mind that today was my first day of junior year. This year it was a lot harder to come back to school because I knew it was going to be hard to not see my nephew most everyday like I had this summer. However, I knew that it was best for me to go back to school. As I started to move stuff into my house, I got more excited about coming back to school. As the first day started to approach I got more and more nervous. This was the first year that I was really getting into my major classes and I didn't really know what to expect. Before it had just been core classes and some of my friends had taken the classes before me so I kind of knew what to expect. This year was different because I really didn't know anyone who had taken the classes that I was taken.

I went to my first day of classes and it went so much better than I thought. I decided that this year isn't going to be as bad as I thought it might be. My professors today seemed liked they were easy and were willing to help you if you need it. I really do look forward to this year. It has started off better than last year so I know that it will be better than last year.

Guess it's Time...

I have put off this blog because well I knew it would be one of the hardest blogs I would have to write but it's finally time to come to terms with it. Almost a year ago my friend Shelly passed away. It was very sudden and no one knew it was coming. When I first heard about it I just kind of sat there and tried to continue what I was doing but that is all I could think about and I just lost it. I didn't know what to do so I just sat there crying. I tried my hardest to get my mind off of things I knew that I would have to tell my friend Molly which I knew wasn't going to be easy. The other bad thing was that weekend I was supposed to move back to school. My friend Morgan was over at the time and she tried her hardest as did my family to try and calm me down but honestly nothing was going to calm me down at this point. I remember trying to pack the next couple of days and I just couldn't because I would just sit there and cry. I went to school and ended up having to come home the next week for the showing. I knew that this was going to be hard. How do you say goodbye to a close friend. I was 20 at the time and the last thing I was thinking about was that I was going to have to say goodbye to another friend in my life. I went to viewing with my mom, sister, and my friend Abby. Abby knew that this was going to be hard for me so she was right there by my side through all of it. I remember walking in and there was just this huge line of people waiting to say their goodbyes. I was doing pretty well at first and then all the sudden I saw my friend Molly and just lost it. I cried everyday for weeks after. I still cry sometimes.

This post isn't to tell you about how I felt but to tell you about Shelly. Shelly was one of the greatest people I knew. She always and I mean always had a smile on her face no matter what was happening in her life. Whenever I talked to her she always made me feel better. Her favorite thing was fireworks and things that were light up. She would always just get this huge smile on her face whenever there was fireworks or anything that would light up. We spend a lot of time together before she went to college out of state. We would always lay out at her pool and just talk about boys and what was going on in our lives. She was someone that you could just tell really cared about you. She always put others first. Shelly was deeply rooted in her faith and it definitely showed whenever you talked to her. I miss the days of dancing to random songs and just have heart to hearts with her I know that she is in a better place. Everyday there is always something that reminds me of her that's how I know that she is up in heaven looking down on me. Still watching over me and caring for me. My hope is that I can be like Shelly one day. I hope to just always smile and to just put others before myself because that's the way it should be. Life is short we never know when our time is coming. So, wouldn't you rather just smile and forget about your worries than to be angry and worried about every little thing?

Happy Birthday Molly!

Today is one of my very best friend's birthday. Well that is if I can get all of this typed and posted by midnight. Mine and Molly's friendship is special. Most people would never think that we are as close as we are because well we are opposites but Molly has been through a lot with me. Whether it was boys or falling on the ground at CIY crying Molly was always there. Not to say that our friendship has not has it's ups and downs but we got through all of them. Molly is such a caring person who will do anything for the people that she loves. She has always been there for me even when I have done stupid things. She has always been someone who I can completely trust and rely on. I don 't really think that there is anything about me that Molly doesn't know. She has a huge heart and I love and admire that about her. She is just such a great person. When our friend Shelly passed away we got through it together. She can always tell when something is wrong with me. She has been there for me through boyfriends and break ups. She even brought me a milkshake when I was sick and my boyfriend at the time would not bring me one. That's the kind of person Molly is. She would drop everything for the people that she loves. I know that a lot of this sounds like what most people would say about their friends especially on their birthday to make them feel special but this is no lie. Molly is a very caring person. Heck she always lets me sleep in her nice comfy bed when I spend the night. We have been on many CIYs together and have cried a lot together. She will sit with me on the floor at CIY when I am balling my eyes out. She will let me cry into her pillow and get mascara all over her pillow and doesn't care that it won't come out because that's a memory that me and her share. We have had so many great memories to singing and dancing in your room to balling our eyes out as we went on our last CIY together. Molly you have been there for me through so much. I love you! I really hope that you have a WONDERFUL birthday because you deserve it!

Not the same

I am turning 21 on Sunday. I am so excited for this birthday! However, I started today I began to realize that 21 is a big number. When you turn 21 you are supposed to share it with all of your friends and have a good time. You are supposed to spend time with your family as well. As I was washing dishes today I looked at a picture of my grandparents that my mom has sitting on the ledge in front of the sink. I started to think about all the great times that I had with my grandparents when they were still with me. I remember running around in their house and staying the night when my parents went on vacation or just needed a night to themselves. They were always there for my birthdays and most summers we would spend out on their lake by their house. I started to think about how they weren't going to be able to make it to this birthday because they aren't with us anymore. The more I started to think about the more upset I got this. This is supposed to be a big birthday for me and I can't even share it with the two people that helped raised me and had a part in who I am today.

As my mind began to wonder even more I realized that one of my best friends that passed away at the beginning of the school year won't be able to share my birthday with me. This is what really hit me. Me, her, and another one of my friends would always talk about when we turned 21 and how great it was going to be especially when I turned 21 because I was the last one to turn 21. Now sitting here thinking about it makes me teary eyed. My birthday won't be the same without her. Of course my mind started to wonder even further and I started thinking about other important things in my life that I would love to share with these people but can't. When I get married my grandparents won't be able to see me walk down the isle. My friend won't be able to be a bride maid in my wedding. There are just so many things that they are going to miss and I hate that I can't share these big dates in my life. I can't share what would be important dates to my friend with her because she doesn't get the chance to have those dates. My 21st and my wedding won't be the same without these people here sharing it with me.

If I have learned one thing this year is don't ever take your friends and your family for granted. Tell them you love each and everyday. If you are fighting be the one to make it okay because you never know if they will be there tomorrow or if they will be able to make it to those important dates. So live life to the fullest make mistakes but learn from them. Love on everyone that comes into your life. If you have enemies forgive them. If you want to talk to someone do it don't wait until the next day or week. You never know who will be here for those important dates in your life.

acceptance

What would do to be accepted? It's a question that we have all heard. But have you really ever stopped and really thought about it? We always hear the question, would you jump off a cliff if your friends did it. I think that full meaning of this question is not really if your friends did something stupid would you do. I believe that it is more would you do something stupid in order to feel accepted. Maybe everyone else has already figured that one out and I am just a little slow but I think that it is a good question to asks. Most people would probably answer I wouldn't do anything I really didn't want to do, but how do you know that for sure. I feel like a lot of times we answers questions that we truly do not know the answer to unless we are put in that exact situation. Yeah we have the answer that we hope we would do but in the end we don't really know for sure.

If you think about you have probably done a lot of things that you never thought you would do in order to feel accepted. I am sure at some point in your life you treated someone badly because that's what the "in-crowd" was doing and you wanted to be a part of that crowd so you did it too even though you knew it was wrong. You would think that as you got older you would start to care less about what other think about you and you would not feel as though you always needed to be accepted, but I think as we get older we want to be accepted even more than when we were younger. We are influenced by so many different things. Every commercial you see on tv influences you. The media is constantly telling how to look, act, and wear if we wanted to be accepted in the society that we live in. We buy into it too. I know that so many times I have looked at different pictures and thought if I could just have this or that then I would be accepted and happy, but I have learned that is the totally wrong way to think.

Just because you look a certain way, dress a certain way, or act a certain way does not mean that you are automatically going to be accepted. People are so concerned with being accepted that they lose sight of who they once were. They turned into the people that they never thought they would turn into. They are doing things that they said they would never do. It just is so crazy to me think about what people do to be accepted. I know that I fall into this category too that I will do certain things just to feel accepted. I guess at the end of the day though we all have to asks ourselves if being accepted is worth giving up who we truly are? I don't think it is but then again when put in the situation of wanting to be accepted it is hard to remember that. So I believe that sometimes being accepted wins out and that's not how it should be. We should be true to ourselves and not care what other people really think because what do they really know if you are happy that's all that matters.