Hot Mess

I'm not really sure what this blog is going to be about, but these past couple of days have been rough and I felt the need to blog. I felt like there was so much going on in my mind that I had to get it out or I was going to lose a lot of sleep over it. Have you ever had those times in your life where there is just so much on your mind that you just wish you could sort it all out but your mind is going a lot faster than you can process. That's how my mind has been for the past couple of days. Early Monday morning my grandma passed away. I was so thankful that I was able to go home and say goodbye to her before she passed. It was definitely not easy to say goodbye to her. After all she has taught me so many things in my life. This got me to thinking about how much we actually learn from our families and the people around us.

You are influence everyday by so many different people and things. The person that you are today is because of the people that have been in your life. Even if it were for a short period of time. The people that influence you the most are the people that stay in you life for the longest time like your family. I know that some people don't really like their families or their families just don't get along but think about where you would be if they were not in your life. You would be a totally and completely different person. Isn't that crazy to think about that people can have that much of an impact on your life. The person that you are right now is because of the people that are in your life right now or the people that have been in your life. It makes you wonder how much of you is really just you and no one else. The words that you use are influenced by people as well. You might say things because you heard your friend say it so many times that it finally just got stuck in your head and you started to use it.

This whole impacting people's lives made me wonder how am I impact people's lives. Am I impacting their lives to make them better or am I pulling them down? Am I teaching people things that will make them chase after their dreams and not to give up hope when things seem to be bad? I wonder how I am impacting people's lives. I hope that I am impacting people's lives for the better. I hope that I am not bringing people down but instead lifting them up.

There are so many people in this world and wouldn't it be so cool if you could just impact one person's life for the better. If you could just love on them and let them know that you are there for them and teach them the things that they need to know and that they would listen to you and look up to you. Now I know that it seems like a simple task but in today's society it seems to me that people are more invested in themselves than other people. I am not saying that I am this selfless person because I am definitely not. I have my selfish moments. They tend to happen more than I would like but how cool would it be to take all those selfish moments and turn them into moments where you are investing in another person. Someone that you truly care about and someone that will care about you back. This is the type of aunt I want to be when my little nephew comes along. I want to be an aunt that he can come to and tell me things about his life not just the things that happened at school that day but to tell me what is going on in his life. I want to truly be invested in his life and to make an impact in his life. I want him to look back and say I learned a lot from my aunt just like I look back now and see how much I have learned from my grandma.