A New Year and New Beginnings

It's a new year and most people at the end of the year make new years resolutions that they usually do not end up keeping. So I do not really believe in making resolutions because why does it have to be at the end of the year that you make goals for yourself why can't you make goals for yourself everyday. 2010 was definitely a rough year for me. Not to say that it did not have it good times but as I was driving home from new years my friend and I were talking about everything that had happened in 2010 and how hard the semester was that we had just finished was. We said that this year was going to be different that this year was going to be a GREAT year..and you know what I truly believe that this year is going to be a GREAT year.

I was ready to say goodbye to 2010 because so many different things happened that I just wanted to forget about. In 2010 I did not feel like myself I felt like I was living my life as someone completely different. Someone that I really didn't know. I felt like I just kept watching myself do these things but I did not understand why I was doing them. I thought that maybe that the person that I was in 2010 was who I was going to be. This to me was a scary thing. I was not the person that I wanted to be and no matter how much I tried to fix it I felt like I was digging myself a deeper hole. It felt like everything I did was not right and that anything that I did would just make things worse. So when new years came I was very excited because I thought this is my chance to change things. I know that I said I don't really believe in resolutions and I will stand by that but January 1st I headed to Passion in Atlanta with 22,000 other college students.

Passion is what really changed me. I learned so much from Passion. It was one of the greatest conferences that I have ever been to. I learned that the God of the universe is praying for me. Me who has screwed up so many times. Me who has turned away from God so many different times because I thought at the time the other thing that I wanted to do was more important than God. I was feeding my appetite. I was thinking only about myself. I was thinking about what I could do to make myself look better to the world. I let the world tell me who I was and who I was going to be. I let my past define who I was. At Passion I learned that I could leave all that behind that I could be whoever I wanted to be and God would accept me. That even when the world turns it back on me I still have one person on my side. My faith is definitely still not at all where I want it to be but I know that it will take time and that in time I will be exactly who God wants me to be and he has great plans for me and I don't want to screw that up just because I want to be selfish. I want to glorify the God of the universe. I don't want my faith to be all about me. I don't want it to be me running to God every time I am in a bad situation and then forgetting about him when things are going great. I want to live everyday for him. I know that this won't be easy because of the world that we live in and the school that I go to but I am willing to do this because I want what is best for me.

So here is to 2011...it is going to be a GREAT year! I can just feel it. There are going to be a lot of changes in 2011. I will become an aunt. I will finish my second year of college. I will become who God wants me to be. All of these things will make 2011 a GREAT year no matter what else happens because I will have God on my side.