Things to come

Since the time that I have been home I have a lot of time to think. I am a person who thinks a lot and sometimes it can be a good thing because I get a lot of things figured out and other times I over think things and then I worry. If you know me I worry about the littlest things. One of the things that really freaks me out whenever I think about it is the future. I hate thinking about the future because I do not have any control over it and I don't know what is going to happen. I am a person who loves to be in control and know what is coming. If you have seen my room and have seen my calendar I have most everything planned out for the day and I know exactly what I am doing. Now that is not to say that I don't like to do random things because I do but when it comes down to things that I need to get done I make sure to get them done and I have a plan on exactly how to get them done. However that is not the point.The point is that the future freaks me out. I worry about what exactly I am going to do when I get out of college. I want to be a buyer but I freak out that I won't get a job or I won't get the job that I want. I also worry about who I am going to marry and where I am going to live. However recently when I think about the future it doesn't freak me out as much anymore. I have realized that I like not having control of my future. I like that God knows exactly what is going to happen. I like the surprises that each day holds because I don't know what is going to happen next. I also know that things will fall into place when the time is right. That things will happen when I am mature enough and ready for them to happen and I am totally ok with this. Now if you would have asked me this a year ago I would freak out and be very worried and go into panic mode. I would have tried to figure out how exactly to get where I want to get no matter what I had to do to get there. But now I am better and I don't stress about the future as much now that is not to say I still don't stress out about it because believe me I do but I have just realized how to handle it better.