LIfe Changes

My sophomore year is coming to a close. I am not really sure how to feel about this especially since it means I am one step closer to becoming an adult. This year has been full of many testing times. I have tried my hardest to get through all of these tests but they are sometimes very difficult to get through. I have heard that sophomore year is the hardest but I never really believe it. However, after the year that I have had I totally believe that sophomore year is the hardest to get through. There have been times where I just want to give up and throw in the towel.

This year definitely did not start how I wanted it to. It started with having to say goodbye to a friend. I can still remember when my mom came into my room while I was packing up to school telling me that my friend was killed in a car accident. This was definitely not the way I thought my school year would start. I still packed up everything to head up to school only having to come home two days later to say my final good bye to a great friend.Once returning to school classes became overwhelming and friendships started to fall apart. I tried to be strong and power through it all but I just felt like I couldn't power through. Christmas break came around and I couldn't have been more excited. Over Christmas break however I learned that my grandma wasn't doing so well. Yet another bump in the road but once again I thought I could power through it especially since I decided that I was going to rush.

I came back from Christmas break and found a sorority that I fell in love with. Once again another bump in the road, my grandma was not doing well and I had to go home. While I was at home she passed away. I knew that it was for the best but it was so hard to see my mom upset. My mom is someone who has always been there for me so for me to her upset killed me. My mom is a great person and I can't even imagine my life without her. She has provided for me and she has always supported me no matter what.

While at home I got a bid from Phi Mu, the sorority that I fell in with. I was so happy this was definitely a high point in this year. When I got back I got to know more of the girls and fell more in love with Phi Mu. As the semester went on things started to look up. Especially with getting a big sis and with initiation. The best thing that has happened to me this semester though is becoming an aunt. I love being an aunt.

Being an aunt is so great. It just sucks that I can't be home to see him and hold him like the rest of my family has. This has definitely been getting to me more than I have realized. I feel as I am failing as an aunt because I am not there to see my nephew. I feel like I am missing him growing up. I know that Ball State is where I need to be but at the same time I just want to run home and not come back. After the this year I have been so tempted to just go home and not come back. There has been so much going on but I realized lately that sometimes all you can do is power through everything and keep my head up. With everything that has happened this year. I have learned that I have to stay positive and no matter what happens to know that I will get though it.